Wasn't My Mom a Total Betty?

Betty 1942-2018

I haven't been around much the past two months and I'm not sure how much I'll be around for a little while longer as I try to make sense of my new reality.

My mom, Elizabeth "Betty" Cavanaugh, passed away April 4th.  I'm still reeling.

She has lived with my husband and I these last 6 years, and while she was ill with advanced COPD, her health had recently improved.  But the strain of her disease caused a lot of heart issues, and finally, Mom's heart stopped beating one night while she was sleeping.  It was the best possible way to go, but it was a shock to us.

My mom was amazing, and she fostered my love of reading, even in my adulthood- although she totally thought I had too many books (sorry, Mom, but never!).  She was kind and caring- even though we moved her in with us to take care of her, she took care of Aaron and I as well. 

She was funny and she found joy in the small things.  I'm trying to do the same now. 

My mom was a caretaker, helping to ease the passing of her parents, my dad, her Uncle Clete, and her cousin Mary.  She resisted moving in with us as long as she could because she never wanted to be a burden, but I was so glad to provide her with even a tiny bit of the care and comfort she gave her whole life to others.

Mom delighted in taking care of our dog Pages, who we got as much for Mom as for ourselves.  The week before she passed, Mom was thrilled to show off Pages to her physical and occupational therapist, and every month she looked forward to seeing the dog get her Bark Box that she ordered for Pages over the last 2 years.

Our loss is great, but Pages is now getting getting at least 70% less treats and table scraps. 

My mom also gave me my love of true crime, and I know we both alarmed my husband with how much ID channel and Forensic Files we could binge watch. ;) Yesterday, as the Golden State Killer was finally revealed to be caught, I thought of how hard Mom must be cheering up in heaven (and probably high fiving Michelle McNamara).  Yesterday was a good day. 

I'm back to work now, and it's mostly helping to distract me.  My family and friends have been amazing.  Kim has been amazing.   I am so lucky to have so many people who care.  <3

So while my mom is gone way too soon, I was lucky for the almost 41 years I had her.  I'm lucky she died at a time when she was feeling happy and proud and loved.  I'm glad she's with my father, whom we lost almost 18 years ago, I know how much she missed him. 

By the way, I stole the blog title from the movie Clueless, because my mom really was  a total Betty.



























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